Dearly Beloved,
It has been a while since I last wrote my Self. I’ve continued to have issues with my standard notebook. It is still being worked on and the holidays have slowed the process. Otherwise, it’s been a bit of bumpy rider over the holidays this year as I have had to let go of someone very dear to me and move more deeply in the heart of the matter, the heart itself. This holiday season I was given the task to begin mending my own broken heart and learn to love again. An opportunity to learn from my mistakes or sins and re-discover my Self. I’m so grateful. Today I will share some what I’ve learned. This piece was largely written almost a month ago on Dec 9th 2024. May it challenge you and give you peace.
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"Sin is defined as "lack of love". Since love is all there is, sin in the sight of the Holy Spirit is a mistake to be corrected, rather than an evil to be punished. Our sense of inadequacy, weakness and incompletion comes from the strong investment in the "scarcity principle" that governs the whole world of illusions. From that point of view, we seek in others what we feel is wanting in ourselves. We "love" another in order to get something ourselves. That, in fact, is what passes for love in the dream world. There can be no greater mistake than that, for love is incapable of asking for anything." Jesus - Preface to ACIM – Foundation of Inner Peace Version
The quote above is what I refer to as the "The Great Mistake". It's what it means to commit the greatest sin or mistake in Course terms. This mistake plays out in the special love-special hate relationship dynamics that dominates the world. A spiritual drama of which our minds yearn for the closeness of co-creation that we threw away, a yearning for Love or God that we denied, don't remember doing, and is now sought out through physical intimacy, companionship, and orgasm. This plays out in sex, romance, so called “loving” relationships with our partners, friends, co-workers, and family.
Jesus teaches the special relationship is biggest hindrance to hearing the Voice of the Holy Spirit. The Voice that Guides us to hear His teaching, that the only place to find true union, authentic partnership, and truly meaningful relationship is by achieving Christ-Vision and joining in Christ-Mind. A form of spiritual site that comes about through the practice of miracle forgiveness by way of miracle-relating. In practical life this is willingness to have our romantic special relationship transformed into a holy relationship and co-creative partnership under the Law of Love or God.
What is this Law of Love or God? Today we're going to discuss it. It's as simple as the Golden Rule or give and receiving is the same. I encourage you to read this all the way and face yourself as you do. Before we do you must understand what you're up against. The human tragedy of it is, the great fact, is that most people in the world are living every single day outside of the Law of Love and they don't know it. The believe they are loving people and are really attacking each other and trading sickness. As Jesus teaches, the Holy Spirit Voice is unfortunately so dim it takes most people thousands of years before they listen and take miracle action. Many many lifetimes before they decide to dedicate their lives to the practice of miracle forgiveness and become willing to give up judgment in a desire for Christ-Vision as their highest priority in life. They want to maintain a void in false love not discover love itself. They want to claim their innocence at the cost of someone’s guilt. They want to save the face of their egos instead of seeking the face of Christ. What if innocence is all there is and love truly asks for nothing?
My family, over these last months I found myself falling in the same special relationship category. Yet today, I'm living for freedom to discover our sinlessness. Together we are discovering in increasing depth what true forgiveness is and one’s vision is growing. I wish to share with you and join you there.
Let's talk about how to begin not making the Great Mistake anymore and live the Law of Love. Walk with me as we continue this meditation. I'm urging you to listen and to be one of the chosen ones discussed in the ACIM text. To seek to stop trying to change the world, but change the way you see yourself in relationship to it and make it holy. Remember that “I am One Self” is your foundation.
"The special relationships of the world are destructive, selfish and childishly egocentric. Yet, if given to the Holy Spirit, these relationships can become the holiest things on earth, the miracles that point the way to the return to Heaven. The world uses its special relationships as a final weapon of exclusion and a demonstration of separateness. The Holy Spirit transforms them into perfect lessons in forgiveness and in awakening from the dream." Jesus - Preface to ACIM – Foundation of Inner Peace Version
We must come to terms with the fact that we are behaving destructively, selfishly, and childishly. That you are wrecking your life and you refuse to grow up. If it isn't clear enough yet how important it is to understand this "great fact" so deeply we're talking about the perpetuation of suffering, of more bad actors in your life, and what salvation is through real loving. The understanding of it provides the totality of what forgiveness is, and what it means to have your mistakes or mental errors corrected and world transformed as a expression of your forgiven Self. Which means, what it means to find happiness, love, and peace. To have a healthy mind and a healthy body. To be in harmony with those around you and the world. To understand how to free your mind through, "The Great Appreciation", that cast out anxiety in fear of love, in the practice of miracle forgiveness. The miracle of what it means that "perfect love casts out all fear." Are you ready to change? One Self is here to show you how.
What does it mean to "love" another in order to get something for ourselves? What does it mean to seek in others what we find wanting in ourselves? It means the same thing as to project onto others what you don't like about yourself. To make them the problem, as they become the mirror for our projections that we hate about ourselves yet hide from ourselves. To change we must choose again. We can choose to clean this mirror in the light of innocence or stay living in the past and suffer. If you don't understand this, you don't love yourself and therefore not capable of loving anyone else who is your Self. This is the other side of the coin that no one wants to look at. The truth that you are lost in the dream of separation of which you believe you know what "love" is, and "love" has become an expression of fear, living in hatred, in grievances of yourself which seem to be others, and in denial about it. Your special love is your special hate. The hate you love so much and are trying so hard to keep, so you can live in the past and hold the past against others and stay sick.
How did this whole mess happen? How did we get into this predicament in the first place? A Course in Miracles defines the human predicament in this way. You abandoned God and are living in the Law you distorted. You denied His love and the love of your brothers and are now you receiving what you gave. This is the Law of God. If you want something you have to give it. And abandonment is what you gave. Be honest now! Deep down you know it’s true! Don't you see what happened to you? Your life or mind has created a series of circumstances and events where you have been continuously abandoned and feel a sense of scarcity or lack in one way or the other. Abandoned by your parents. Abandoned by your friends. Abandoned by your job. Somehow someway abandoned by this lover and the next one. Life took them away from you. Sometimes quickly and sometimes slowly, but it's coming around again unless you change. The circumstances may seem different but the outcome is all the same, isn't it? Loneliness!
You are lonely aren’t you, which is why you refuse to wait? Another failed partnership and you’re scratching your head still refusing to do what needs to be done. So you end up all alone, anxious, depressed, tired, and afraid crying out, “WHY!!! When is it going to end!!!” and struggling to get out of bed. In many cases wanting to end yourself in your denial of Life refusing to accept the solution because you want to keep your special love - special hate alive. You want to keep torturing yourself in ways we haven't begun to discuss and stay a fake to get what you want.
What’s that? Fake happiness because that’s what you are as you play the fake.
Don't you want someone to love you special? They're going to have to meet your list of demands aren't they or you're going to leave them? And we're not talking about practical expectations. There's a right place for proper expectations that is not abandonment or lack of love but love itself. If a man abandons his post and stops living a practical life he abandons his Self and God, only he is blame. If the partner chooses to love an idol over the other, you abandon your Self and God, the blame is the same. If a partner is abusive, well, you must distance yourself from seeming the other, at least for a time, but you can leave room for love now and love again.
It’s true it’s not always possible to stay together. But what if your partner is doing all they can to change, is making progress, and puts God first everyday, do you leave them? Who is the problem? Who is the “me” and the “not me”? You have to ask yourself if you are refusing to learn the perfect lesson and have your special love special hate relationship transformed into a holy relationship. A journey you take with your forgiveness partner and discover Christ-Vision.
What does all this mean and how does it actually play out in life? Is there such a thing as two swans in the human experience? Well, what do you desire? Do you want there to be? It’s going to take a lot of love and patience to make that happen. It will if that’s what you want and willing to learn what it takes to dance on swan lake.
In today’s world actually learning this is very rare. Most of us are in a big hurry. Most of us refuse and are only willing to forgive ourselves in small doses, as we limit our love for our Self. We are afraid and feel limited. Most of us have yearnings and ideals that are so strong we succumb to the appetites of the human experience. That’s just the way it is! For most of us growth is slow because we don't really understand forgiveness, and don't want to understand it. Must of us believe that our own mature judgment offers us more than forgiveness does. Most of us don’t know what we are doing to ourselves, because most us don’t know mature judgement is an illusion.
The great Vernon Howard is quoted as saying "The last thing a human being wants to do is give up their suffering." Let's take a deeper look at this together so perhaps today, we can do “the last thing” and have the courage to do the “thing” we're afraid to do. To admit we're wrong and face our fear to Love, the fear to look within, and forgive ourselves and love your forgiveness partner no matter how it shakes out. To give what it is you really want and forgive yourself. To let go of judgement and be truly tolerant. Very, very rare.
Everyone has challenging mental conditioning as a deep-seated belief in abandonment and problems of insecurity. These mental conditions create so much disorder in our lives at work, in relationships, and out there in the world at large. Conditions that manifest painfully as so many addictions, frustrations, taxing situation, more loneliness, and bad company. It doesn't seem so bad in the beginning though, but this kind of company manipulates having been attracted by the self-manipulation of our own mis-creative minds. The manifestation must play out as what we gave it and most of us lack the intelligence or strength of real vision to move through our contentious mindset with grace. It may take a few weeks or even a few years to find out that he or she wasn't who you thought they were. Hasn't this happened to you? It happened to me too, and I was that person too, aren't you? Surprise! You have received a gift where you got more than you bargained for, and it's not pretty. It always shows up the same way, it comes in the form of a "beautiful gift", wrapped in a nice box, with a beautiful bow, and sweet card that reads, "I will "love" you,……. xoxoxo, sincerely yours." And we swear this new gift is going to be different. And it feels good for a while, and then karma kicks in. Each time we accept the gift the outcome is always the same. Those painful manifestations haven't gone anywhere, because these are the gifts of sickness that we give ourselves when we don't forgive and live in abandonment. We don’t even know that’s our normal state of mind.
You have to ask yourself if the grass is really greener on the other side. If you're willing to learn of real forgiveness and if they're willing to recover. If you both are then there's real hope that you will stay together. If one of you is unwilling to recover, then nothing can be done but to wait a little longer for time to turn to timelessness. You both have to really want to heal, do the deep work, and be willing to take a leap of faith into the uncomfortable, as your work towards union in Christ Vision. It's going to take a lot of trust, honesty, tolerance, gentleness, and perseverance. You must keep an open-mind and don't be afraid. Your friends, family, therapist, and just about everyone else is going to give you nothing but bad advice. You can and will get through al of it and God promises it will be beautiful and so do I. So what are you waiting for? Don't leave until the miracle happens, if you can help it. That's the teaching.
Why wouldn't you stay with someone if they're doing everything they can and are putting God first? What are you giving? If not then they are not going to either. You may think you are. Is that what you are doing? Perhaps you are playing escape artist and have gotten on the Merry-Go-Round one more time. You're running from yourself afraid to admit how much you love the other person because you don't want to love your Self. You're living in the definition of insanity and expecting different results. You don't want the answer to be the answer and it's childish, cruel, and egocentric. If you dig deep and you both ask God to help you in your next relationship regardless of your vain motives in the beginning, you have another chance at greatness, but only God knows how it will unfold. Are you ready to ask now?
Ask your yourself do you want to feel abandoned anymore and stay sick and suffering. Isn't that what's happening in the world? We don't want to face this and around we go one more time because we haven't let go of their errors as ours. Instead, we accepted their errors as real in our judgments of separation instead of the perceiving the light innocence and joy. We can only recover by perceiving the sanity in others, not the image we made about them. By seeing what's real instead of what isn't. If we want to be corrected by the Holy Spirit we have to learn to give over others errors as ours, and give up this image of “me” and “not me”, “us” and “them”. There is no other way. Forgiveness is forgiving.
It's unfortunate because the conditioning, the internalized emotional unconscious guilt, propels the addiction to thinking, anxiety, and mis-creative sick thought that produces terrible physical effects in our bodies. What has showed up in my life is fibromyalgia, crohn's, terrible headaches, deep depression, and tremendous pressure in the jaws due to stress, severe anxiety, obsessive thinking, manic states, and mania. All of which have been my close friends and lovers, and immediate family. Now who am I taking about? Who is the subject and who is the object?
For many of us the condition that we deal with on a daily basis is extremely challenging, chasing us around, and we're stuck in a seemingly endless struggle. We go to doctor's visits and rely on a long list of external solutions that will provide some relief but never the totality. Something will always resurface. Why? Because the peace of God cannot come from anything external. Only forgiveness is totality, because only forgiveness forgives all else in the uncovering of our shared perfection, a perfect child of God. What else could you want to see? Yet many keep these conditions their whole lives because they refuse to forgive the “not me” as their Self. We are addicted to guilt and the blame game lost in duality.
How do we change again? Let's repeat. If you want to have your errors corrected you need to learn how to give them to the Holy Spirit so they can be corrected, which means you are never healed alone. You have to see that you're really living in grievances holding on to your sick mental conditioning, caught in criticizing others, living as a hypocrite, and in double standards. That you are refusing to love while believing your loving others. You have to see that you don't really appreciate people the way you think you do. You want proof? You are still suffering! If you did that challenging mental condition that you have would go away along with all of its physical symptoms. That would mean you're loving yourself and loving others. Which means you're judging others and hating yourself in illusion that you're loving yourself and the proof is the day you had today! It's the same as the last 10, 20, 30, 40 years or more.
If you want to feel love, which is your real security, and you don't want to be lonely, then you have to stop the cycle of abandonment. You have to really love to feel love to discover your whole. And if you feeling abandoned and lonely now you know. You're perceiving yourself and some other other soul in a dark glass and feeling the effects of your decision. You are holding the past against the present and this is the guilt that keeps you sick. Take a close look at who's in front of you and who isn’t anymore. See that you don't like their mental conditioning. You find it unacceptable to you and complain about it. You are afraid of it. You found yourself setting unrealistic expectations on others that you thought made sense and they weren't able to make them. I know because I did it too. You limited your love you will end up loveless again, because you're still abandoning yourself.
Your list of expectations and shortcomings may be very long. You'll find that every judgment you make is a rejection of the other and yourself. A projection of what you don't like about yourself on them. Yet their personal history is just like yours. Their conditioning is just like yours. Their past lives are like yours and it confuses you because you don't remember and are addicted to lies. You'll find you get upset when they get caught in mental obsessions, sometimes very strong, living in addictions, and you hate it. But what about you? You'll find you get upset because they're not present with you, that they're self-centered, but what about you? They aren’t living a practical life but what about you? Who are you rejecting? Now know you don't like you again just in chase you forgot. Being around them is too hard because loving you is unacceptable. And every excuse you have is an excuse about the past, because that's where you live. But it's a lie and you can learn today to have a shift in perception and save your life, as you learn the Golden Rule and see them holy.
Did I describe your life today minus the fact you didn't much about the Golden Rule but now you do? Then you have an opportunity to not make the same mistake and do the “the last thing”. Ask yourself if you really have done all the forgiving you can? Is there a man or woman in your life that you're holding the past against? Did they stand by you? Aren't they worth it? Are you worth it? Are they willing to discover forgiveness and Christ's Vision with you? However you think about them is how you think about yourself. You don’t think they can change? You don’t truly believe in them? You limit them? You see only the past don’t you? You are not going to wait around right? I’m here to tell you that your life is your dream, all of it is you. Your thoughts just created your destiny, it’s true. What you want to happen happens and what you don’t want to happen doesn’t happen. That is how it works. You have been lying to self. For the last time today, what are you giving?
Ladies, if he has been working towards sexual rightness, follow that man. If he refuses to stay in lust, leave him. Men, do everything you can to help her see without being forceful, because nothing is won by force. And if you did everything you could try to stay together and learn the perfect lesson and she still leaves, remember that that's what you gave so all is well! It really is what you wanted so don't be discouraged. Don't judge and live, "The Great Appreciation". Stay his or her close friend and stand strong as their forgiveness partner if they are willing, even as they choose another lover. Love them too and be happy for them! You can do it! Who is the “me” and who is the “not me”. You made the right choice and loved truly. NOW YOU WAIT AND YOU STAND RIGHT THERE. You ended the chase and have been forgiving your Self. You stopped the cycle of abandonment and you will see he face of Christ. Your new forgiveness partner is going to come walking through the door or perhaps you will walk right into the Kingdom of Heaven. I guarantee it!
Remember these words from the Master and be the chosen.
"Only your misperceptions stand in your way. Without them your choice is certain. Sane perception induces sane choosing. I cannot choose for you, but I can help you make your own right choice. “Many are called but few are chosen” should be, “All are called but few choose to listen.” Therefore, they do not choose right. The “chosen ones” are merely those who choose right sooner. Right minds can do this now, and they will find rest unto their souls. God knows you only in peace, and this is your reality. " T-3.IV.7:8-16
I want to thank two lovely ladies who have remained my forgiveness partners and taught me how to love again and how to stand in the heart. I love you and I love you all so much!
God rests in our Hearts as we rest as His.
God Saves,
Kenney
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